I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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