Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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