Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
