so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
