Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
i believe in u and ur pee
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
