Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
