I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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