she is the kim kardashian of front butts
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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