Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
