i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
