Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
