you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
There was a lot of him and a little penis
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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