so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
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