Christians are straight up FREAKS
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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