everyone is single if you try hard enough
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I'm always down for nudity.
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