Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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