The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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