I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
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