found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
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