It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize
