My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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