Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
