I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
