You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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