youre lurking in front of me
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
