I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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