its not stalking. its research.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
