Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
