I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Sex in the backyard? Check.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
