She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
is wine microwaveable?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
