Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Even my vagina gasped.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
