i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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