people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
It's shark week go big or go home
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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