This girl is more easily done than said...
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize
