spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
