He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
