Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
