im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
no, he came in my armpit
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
