So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Randomize
