so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
