Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
