All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Randomize
