i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
don't judge my taste in strippers
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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