I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
