Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Randomize
