I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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