Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
