Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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