It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
