Please, let me fuck your mom
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
